Your Not Alone
Hey there momma,
If you had asked me five years ago what I thought my biggest struggle would be as a mother I probably would have said something about not getting enough sleep (I have true affection for my pillow and duvet) mostly because everything I heard, was how sleep doesn’t exist after you have a child. Little did I know my true struggle would be just how lonely motherhood can be. I think it’s something every mother will experience on some level. For me, it’s living in a new city, (extended) maternity leave, some of my best friends live far away and no extended family in the area. Couple that with a mild case of introversion; and suddenly, I’m going across the street to order a coffee just to get a bit of social interaction. One Venti, sugar-free, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra shot, no foam, extra hot, Dark Chocolate mocha with light whip and extra syrup please. But in all seriousness sometimes giving my coffee order would the only “conversation” of my day.
Part of this may be my fault. I realize there are amazing momma groups out there, amazing people with amazing stories, but some mornings I barely get my kids out of Pajamas let alone getting them out the door! Surely I’m not the only one that has this problem of demanding babies with schedules, naps, feeding, sleeping, getting sick, and almost the worst one of all, sniffles.
I scanned the internet and boards for activities or classes that I can put the kids in. Almost all of the classes don’t really start until they reach 2. So I found myself wishing for the day my little guy turned 2 to enter him into these activities. Now that he is 2 and very much a toddler, I am feeling just a little guilty that even a part of me wished away his baby-hood. I know I didn’t miss out on anything, but you can’t really be a mother with an internet connection without feeling guilty about something
To all the mommas out there who might be in this place now, I want to tell you with total and complete sincerity that you are doing the most important job in the world. And you will get to a place that works for you, and your family (although days when we don’t get out of our pj’s still happen). After some adjusting and prioritizing. I was finally able to bring my head a bit above water. Ever so slightly. In no way, shape or form would I call my life perfect. I’m in a different place than I was 2 years ago. I’ve lost one life and discovered another. My encouragement in the interim is to celebrate the small victories. The days you’re able to wake up just a bit early, shower and put on some makeup. The workout program or diet you sometimes are able to follow. The day you are able to fit back into your old jeans. The blog that lets you speak your mind to the world and exercise your creativity. The day your kid talks, or walks, or rolls over. Or that puzzle he finishes with no help. Or when he climbs up the slide for the first time and you realize he really is a toddler. These are my small victories. These are the victories that matter most.
Thinking of You.